How would you do things differently if you knew that you were destined to fail for eternity? How would you perceive meaning and purpose? Would you simply quit or would you push forward just out of spite?
I think I belong to the latter group, one who would fight just because the challenge exists.
I’ve noticed that trading ultimately boils down to death and rebirth, the very same cycle that binds us as humans.
For this reason, I think it resonates very well with me. I’m no arbiter of malice but I would say that truth sits at the top of my values. Sometimes the only way for truth to reveal itself is simply through destruction. People obfuscate details and information in order to self-serve their belief systems and worldviews… This creates a fragile veneer that gives rise to grossly exaggerated egos. The self-regulating nature of the markets is what I find most fascinating, egos do not last very long.
It doesn’t matter if you’ve discovered the black box system, have developed the most elite technical perspective or have an unparalleled knowledge of the markets. The truth is… we’re all destined to fail.
Failure and success are two sides of the same coin, if you want to succeed you’re nearly guaranteed to fail. You can easily point to all of the great men and women of our world history and see the same phenomenon.
What, then, is the difference between the greats and the mediocre? In my opinion, it is resilience.
This leads me to the myth of Sisyphus.
In the original myth, Sisyphus chained Death, making it so that mortals would not die. But when Death was eventually freed, Sisyphus was condemned to roll a rock up to the top of a mountain, only to have the rock roll back down to the bottom every time he reaches the top.
I’m positive that this is an obvious metaphor for taking 1 step forward and 2 steps back, a common reality amongst traders.
Why is it that no matter how hard you try, how much distance you’ve garnered or how much money you’ve made that it never gets easier?
In my experience, it’s because the process of becoming great is a lifelong practice. I believe that acknowledging this perspective allows you to unlock the true purpose of even trying in the first place. Coincidentally, it’s also that when you surrender to process that you find the most success. More on this in a bit…
I have to take a step back and reflect upon the reality of our situations:
Trader A has a goal and it’s to push the boulder up to the top of the mountain where his fortune awaits, millions upon millions of dollars. His single-minded focus is strong enough to motivate him to push as hard as he can, to denounce the odds and to eventually be able to look down at the other traders below and proclaim “it’s that easy!”.
Trader B, C and D see Trader A getting much further up the hill than they are so they pay attention to Trader A’s technique, mentality and bravado. Soon Trader B, C and D start climbing as well and eventually look down at Traders E, F and J proclaiming “it’s that easy!”.
In each of these trader’s mind there is no greater sense of progress than pushing that boulder up the mountain, so that is exactly what they focus on. Every one of them feels amazing, not only are they making tangible progress but they’re also able to look down on the others and feel proud of themselves and their minor accomplishments.
Days, weeks and months go by. Half of the traders got crushed by their own boulders by exhausting their strength in an all-out flurry, the other half are somewhere in between where they were then and where they started day one.
As they’re now tired and able to take a break from pushing, they are finally able to notice something in the corner of their eyes. Looking up and gripping their eyes tightly, they’re able to make out other individuals who’ve made it much further up the hill.
The remaining traders yell out, “HEY, HEY!! DOWN HERE!!”. Most of their cries were ignored as the individuals are simply so focused but one of them looked back and replied “What’s going on? I’m trying to focus, do you need help?”.
“Yes! We want to know what is it that you did to get up so high”, The traders replied.
“Well, I used to keep climbing up only to get rolled back down to the bottom and realized that I needed to work on catching myself as I was falling. It took me a long time to realize that I was never going to make it by pure brute strength and to play defense just as well. I used to get so upset but I realized that even up here I can see dozens more in my line of sight that have been doing this longer than I have. I know that this is a hill that I want to climb, but I figured I might as well have a laugh instead of getting upset every time I fall, it’s just more fun that way. I’m kind of crazy though, ignore me, see you later.”
The traders took a breath and reflected for a moment. “Did he just say this was fun? There’s nothing fun about getting the shit kicked out of you.”
What people fail to realize about trading is that you’re always going to get humbled over and over again. The true test of a trader is how well one copes with failure and how they develop their resilience in spite of it all.
I think when people look at high risk/reward problems they hyper-fixate on the rewards. Their minds experience the feeling of having won simply by imagining the win itself, sufficient motivation to move forward. How would the script be flipped in your mind if you knew that you’re perpetually doomed to a cycle of death and rebirth?
I can’t even count the number of times that I’ve been humbled, no matter how far I climb or how much money I have made. I honestly do not think it ever ends, I might be able to write a blog in a decade that contradicts this… but for now I don’t feel like it’s a real possibility.
To be honest, these reflections are just as much made for me than they are for you. I write what’s nearest and dearest to my heart.
It’s not that I’ve taken a massive loss or anything dramatic like this, but it’s just that I perpetually feel this desire to skyrocket out of here and take my trading to the next level. I often catch myself thinking ‘what if’ then making those daydreams into realities. I catch some momentum and then I get slapped back down to earth because I lose touch with my humility. When I get humbled, I often remind myself that the only reason why I am where I am today is because of the systems I created to catch myself from falling.
All of the things I have been repeating time and time again on the feed are in my opinion some of the most important systems that you can ever implement. I almost want to gag thinking about the feelings of the readers who might remark, “Brian you’ve said it a million times, I can’t stand your feed it’s NOT going to make me a better trader”.
So I won’t reiterate exactly what those systems are, you should be able to come to those conclusions on your own. In fact, it’s better that you learn the skill of being able to leverage technology to acquire knowledge anyways. I specifically designed my content to be full of golden nuggets that may otherwise be indistinguishable from the rest. If you’re a keen seeker of truth, you’ll get those and for those who can’t be bothered, godspeed.
Our humanity is inescapable, the emotions we feel will always come into play at the most inopportune moments and the market gives zero shits about you or your ambitions. Having resigned myself to these truths, all I want is to perform at my highest level and nothing more.
Through all of the reflections, mentors, coaches, therapists and friends that I’ve made along this journey I know that there still, yet, exists this yearning to break free of process.
In those moments, I find myself most vulnerable to slipping far more than what’s acceptable. In those moments, I find my true nature coming out of it’s cage only to be straddled and sedated by my systems.
There is this constant struggle between focusing on your process and then letting thoughts creep into your mind, hijacking your system.
I am a good trader, not a great trader and yet I’ve come so far by subscribing to undertaking this as a journey and not a destination. Far too many amateur traders believe that they’ve either arrived or are soon to arrive with a naive mindset.
I don’t know if you respect me or not, if you think I’m worth listening to or even if you believe a word I say. The only message that I want to spread on Christmas this year is that everyone is fallible, even the people you look up to… it is their resilience and understanding of the undying cycles we all face that separates the rest from the good or even great.
Let me just reiterate once more in this blog… the only thing that will allow you to reach great heights in this game is to lean into long-term view more than anything else. If you’re in a rush, you’re as good as dead meat, however if you can keep rebuilding yourself and licking your wounds in the long-run, then you stand a far better chance than you’d ever be able to imagine.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year,
Brian
